Wednesday 25 March 2020

Fred crashes in the amazon

Fred was sitting in a small plane but then suddenly the plane gave a shudder the captain turned around he   looked pale as ever He gasped then cut the engine and fainted they where falling out of the sky about to hit the forest floor BOOM there was a bunch of smoke and fire they had crashed in the middle of the jungle Fred got out of the plane coughing he ran away from the plane he was thinking was the pilot dead? he probably might have had a Storoke? Or was it a heart attack Fred  was panicking but he wondered why was the pilot shocked when the plane shuddered..

1 comment:

  1. Great job using onomatopoeia in your writing! I can see that you really listened to the story when I was reading it in class. You have written a narrative perspective of the plane crash, so next time if you wanted to do a diary entry then you would need to write it like you were experiencing it. That would mean you would write from the 1st person instead of the 3rd person. For example, I was sitting in a small plane.

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